Gone are the days of weddings involving the local church, a handmade (or handed down) dress, and a reception featuring a meal prepared by the newlywed’s families.

In our age of conspicuous consumption, many couples are trying to keep up with the Kardashians by throwing massive weddings that more closely resemble spectacles than public declarations of love. And if the bride-to-be isn’t fortunate enough to be an event planner by trade, she have a hell of a time deciding between the seemingly endless array of vendors offering wedding-related goods and services to ensure the happy couple’s special day is tailored to reflect their credit card limits unique personalities.

But what if you don’t care to make thousands of mostly insignificant decisions about an event that will last 12 hours at the very most? What if you truly can’t muster up even an ounce of interest in the colour of the chair covers at the reception, whether the invitations are embossed or debossed, or how many tiers the cake features? What if you just want to dress up in your fancy clothes, say a few words, put on your new ring, and get your party on?

In a word, the answer is Vegas.

The great thing about Vegas weddings is that no matter how classy or tasteless you are, there’s a wedding package to suit your needs. All you need to do is pick out your favourite location, choose a package, pay for it, and show up.

Since classy wedding options are fairly predictable, here’s a sampling of the not-so-traditional wedding options on offer in Sin City:

• Want to be married by the King? There’s a chapel on the Strip for that.
• Always dreamed of a wedding cake made of pancakes that you consume after tying the knot in Denny’s? In just a few short months, your dream will come true.
• Too lazy to personally go to a chapel? Just call for delivery.
• Want to enter into matrimony as naked as the day you were born? This company will make it happen.
• Wish you could get married 844 feet above the Strip? No worries, that’s totally possible.
• Need to pull off an actual shotgun wedding? This package is for you.
• Think Yoda would make an amazing minister? That can be arranged:

And that, my friends, is why Vegas kicks some serious destination wedding ass…especially if your Big Day absolutely must include a gyrating officiant who ends the ceremony with “Thank you. Thank you very much.”