Most travellers add a dictionary to their suitcase when they visit a country that has a national language different from their own. It only makes sense to be able to respond properly when you’re trying to barter for Cuban cigars or a Turkish belly dancing costume.

But answer me this: If you’re from North America, would you bring a translation dictionary with you on a trip to Ireland?

If you think a bonnet is worn on your head, and hurling is something you do after too many pints, allow me to help you out. The following “how to speak Irish” tutorial will ensure you arrive in the Emerald Isle ready to have the craic with any bogger you meet in the car park of a chipper.

Irish to North American Translation Dictionary:

• Bang on = Right On
• Battered burger = Deep fried hamburger
• Black pudding = Blood pudding (seriously)
• Bleedin’ mad thing = Crazy person
• Bogger = Person who lives in the country
• Bonnet = Car hood
• Boot = Car trunk
• Brazzer = Prostitute
• Brickie = Bricklayer
• Brown sauce = Steak sauce
• Car park = Parking lot
• Chipper = Chip shop
• Chippie = Carpenter
• Chips = French fries
• Chuffed = Delighted
• Craic = Fun
• Creche = Daycare
• Crisps = Chips
• Da = Dad
• Deadly = Awesome
• Dear = Expensive
• Deffo = Definitely
• Dub = Dubliner
• Eegit = Idiot
• Excira and delira = Excited
• Fair play = Good job
• Feck = Nicer way of dropping an eff bomb
• Fry = Massive breakfast/heart attack on a plate
• Gaf = House
• Gas = Funny
• Get the boat = Not a chance
• Gis = Give us
• Give it a lash = Try it out
• Give out = Tell off
• Gik = Crap
• Grand = Great/fine/sure
• Half tree = 3:30
• Halfo halfo = Half and half
• Happy days = That’s awesome
• Head wrecker = Annoying person
• Howya = How’s it going?
• Hurling = Field sport that makes lacrosse look mild
• I am in me hole = No way
• I am in me sh*te = No way
• I’m in bits = I’m a total mess
• Jambon = Ham & cheese roll
• Jumper = Sweater
• Kip = Nap or rundown place
• Knacker = Low life or something gross
• Knacker drinking = Drinking illegally outdoors
• Lad(s) = Guy(s)
• Langers = Very intoxicated
• Lass(ies) = Girl(s)
• Leak = Plumber
• Leg it = Run like hell
• Like a bag of Lego (ie. in bits) = Total mess
• Local = Favourite bar
• Locked = Very intoxicated
• Ma = Mom
• Mad = Crazy
• Me = My
• Merry = Mildly intoxicated
• Mince = Ground beef
• Mingin’ = Gross
• Mula = Person who lives in the country
• Mushy peas = Food you don’t ever want to order
• On me tod = On my own
• Only messin’ = Just kidding
• Pink sauce = Ketchup mixed with mayonnaise
• Pub = Home away from home
• Red sauce = Ketchup
• Sambo = Sandwich
• Savage = Awesome
• She’s a bleedin’ ride = That woman is beautiful
• Sh*te = Sh*t
• Shattered = Exhausted
• Slag = Make fun of
• Slainte = Cheers
• Sound = Good
• Spar = 7-11
• Spark = Electrician
• Spread = Plasterer
• Taking the piss = Just kidding
• That’s a load of bollocks = What a bunch of crap
• Tirty tree and a turd = 33.3
• Townie = Inner-city Dubliner
• Up the duff = Pregnant
• Wear the face of ye = Make out
• Whaddya like? = Come off it
• What’s the craic? = How’s it going?
• What’s the story? = How’s it going?
• White pudding = Worse than what’s in a hotdog
• Whopper = Awesome
• Window licker = Moron
• Ye = You
• Yis = You plural
• Yoke = Thing
• Your man = Refers to him (in conversation)
• Your one = Refers to her (in conversation)
• Your woman = Refers to her (in conversation)

If you made it to here you’re pretty much fluent in Irish, so congratulations! And please feel free to write a comment if you think I’ve left something off the list.

Slainte!